Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Guilt followed by regret.
I didnt expect to see my grandfather in the coffin the today. The last time I've last seen him was probably a few months ago and I.. just didnt expect myself to see him the next time ( as well as my last time) in that peaceful bed he laid.
I'm feeling regretful, how come i didnt initiate any visits?
That glass panel over his body just made me feel so indescrible. That glass panel served as a barricade between earth and heaven.
He passed away peacefully. He lived at a ripeful age of 89. The angels have brought him home, peacefully.
My grandmother swollen eyes just said it all. She misses him, badly.
Perhaps, this event would make it clear (very clear, actually) for me to treasure my loved ones. "We live only once" that saying goes.. this event will be an eye-opener for me, i'm sure. Treasure my loved ones. We really dont know what will happen tomorrow, might as well live each day like it's our very last.
I really hope that my family would understand that. Sarcasm? Replace it with praise. Pissed off? Tell them what's bugging you. What is so difficult about it? Shouting? replace it with laughter.
What's so difficult to love one another?
We live only once, isnt it? Why plunge ourselves in self-pity, anger and frustration instead of a life full of light, joy and laughter?
I really sincerely truely hope that this is a blessing in disguise.
I'm proud of my dad, by the way. He's a very fillial son and damn it, i really should learn from him.
Grandpa, may you rest peacefully. At 5, i used to kiss you on the cheek. At 13, there were no longer kisses; I replaced it with hugs. At 16, it was just a touch on your arm. A stroke, probably.
No more kisses, no more hugs.
I wished i could just rewind back time... and continued to kiss you on the cheek and hug you. It's not going to happen, i know.
That's why.. right at this moment, I'm going to remind myself to show that I care for my loved ones. A kiss on a cheek, a hug, or a sweet simple SMS would just prove that I care. I'm not going to give the same lame excuse about, " Ah, they obviously know that i care what." when i dont even bring myself to show them.
This is probably the most enriching event that taught me so much about life and death.
7/26/2006 10:45:00 PM/ i know what you want to say
